Following the life path I have over the last 30 and more years has been very fulfilling and at times quite joyful. It has not always been easy, or as smooth way as sometimes others think it has been. At times it has been very painful.
Yes, there has been help and often support, sometimes wonderful and even amazing in its nature. But there has also been much criticism and opposition, especially of the specific work and vocation I elected to pursue, even downright hostility.
I have been ignored by people who I thought were friends, viewed as delusional, even reckless if not a little crazy, and on occasion, flirting with evil. To overcome these challenges has required a resolve and determination that some may have viewed as stubbornness, but that it has never been.
I have always been a creature of visions, great dreams and a deep knowing, ever since childhood. Here I don’t simply mean inner voices, fleeting intuitive hunches and flashes of what is termed clairvoyance, but rather persistent clear visions and a deep consistent knowing that something is right for me (and ultimately for everyone else) whatever opposition and “advice” to the contrary I receive. When I see such knowing occurring in others too, it is inevitably even more of a challenge, for advice should never be given if not sought and such visions and knowing often, in fact usually, fly in the face of safe, logical assessment and convention. Life of course is not logical but most people think it is. If it were we would have sorted it out by now. Logic tends to be merely a function of the intellect, which can only manage ideas, not originate them.
There is no claim to sainthood or personal perfection here, and I have the same human frailties to be found in anyone – for example detail is not exactly my strong point and I sometimes get the smaller ones wrong particularly. But the visions and deep knowing never let me down. As I mentioned in an earlier piece, my grown up sons once confided in me that they had concluded that on the really important issues “Dad was always right”! Praise indeed! Mind you, they had consumed a few beers at the time.
Perhaps the most difficult thing is encountering opposition. Frequently I have found myself isolated with most if not all those around me thinking I am wrong, obstinate or fixated and unwilling to consider their arguments. That is not true. I will always listen to other’s thoughts as I am very aware that we all learn so much from others, but I will not change my view if their opinions deny my knowing and my long held visions and dreams. Oddly enough, I have found a perverse support in such opposition. It appears the more people that doubt and oppose me in following my knowing on an issue, in an odd way, the more I can be sure of its “rightness”, whatever difficulties I encounter on the way to its accomplishment and realisation. Again this is not born of arrogance, or a sense of personal infallibility but a quiet confidence in what has always proved to be an unfailing mechanism for me through my entire lifetime. I know it is not Paul the personality. He is just the “front man”. It is the deep subconscious self and my essence or inner nature prodding me, showing me unflinchingly, what I must know, must trust and realise. And if I do concede, or become afraid of the possible consequences of pursuing my knowing, that’s where the night time dreams have their say, giving my subconscious a real chance to impress and direct me.
This is especially useful when I meet considerable and persistent opposition to my dreams and visions. My upbringing taught me to fight for what I believe and possibly made me too combative at times though I rather think my earlier tenacity has mellowed in recent years into a more quiet resilience and determination.
A good friend and student asked me a while ago, how this knowing works – “how do you know, how can you be so sure?” There was more than a little frustration in their voice!
There are no easy answers to this question although some of you reading this will immediately have empathy with my words since it may confirm your own experience, especially if your psychic nature is particularly well honed and operates on a good, refined and studied level. The best I can offer in a brief explanation is that a real aspirational dream, a true inner vision that wells up from deep inside you, calling you towards its manifestation in your outer world will have a few particular qualities.
First it will be a persistent vision or image. In other words if you choose to ignore it, it will tend to return, time after time, pretty much in the same form with just a few variations, This is the nature of inspiration. It won’t give up so long as it is given a chance! What crushes it, hides it, is continued negativity and limitation in our thinking, emanating from our fears and prejudices, those boundaries we construct to supposedly protect ourselves These boundaries are damaging and ultimately do us more harm than good because they build walls around us in our minds and energy fields, boxing us in to the status quo and depleting us in the process. If we’ve never got enough energy then there is something wrong.
Secondly it will have a feel of rightness that also is persistent, even though it may seem to the intellect impossible to attain, requiring much courage and imagination. When others feel it is wrong, this dream and vision of yours, you shouldn’t be arrogant or fight with them, trying to persuade them that you are right. Rather accept that their view is how they see and feel things but it is not necessarily yours and you can simply let it go, staying true to your own knowing.
Thirdly, the ultimate outcome of your knowing will always be for the best for everyone and will deliberately harm no one. Of course one could argue that we may inadvertently hurt another simply by resisting their well-intentioned concerns about our plans or decisions as many a parent will confirm when children seek to defy our wise counsel as they grow! Or that by inaction we also disappoint others and this may be true. But a well-developed knowing will always triumph and take you to its Promised Land where the dreams are waiting to be experienced.
It can be frightening to follow your knowing. It may well seem like a risk, even a big one. It probably will. But the knowing, visions, and dreams will take you there safely and surely.
And there is always a letting go or two involved. Not only a letting go of fears and limiting ideas as I mentioned earlier, but often a letting go of things, people, places, jobs, homes et al. But the knowing knows that we have to do this and will help us if we allow it to, so that the remarkable experience and content of our dreams and visions, may unfold before us, bringing joy, opportunity and fulfilment.
So “go confidently on the direction of your dreams and live the life you have imagined.” If things seem bad they can become good. If they are good they can become wonderful.
Following the Taoist flow of life we will sometimes encounter a few rocks in our stream as we seek to swim with its current; one or two big ones maybe, that seem to be impeding or even preventing our progress. But our knowing will always show us a way around these obstacles however huge some may be, perhaps seemingly miraculously so, guiding us back into our stream once more, flowing towards our dreams and surely meeting them one day.
To you, lots of love, wonderful dreams, visions, and happy, calm, confident knowing.