“I take full responsibility for what has happened.” How often do we hear that phrase, sometimes uttered in a crisis of some kind, when an individual will offer their resignation from a position of leadership or management when something of consequence has gone badly wrong. More often, especially in public life, the opposite is true where governments for example may blame their predecessors for the problems they encounter but take credit when there is good news.
From a spiritual and healing perspective taking responsibility is an interesting and challenging issue, where acclaim is accepted by a healer or therapist for their obvious successes but shoulders are shrugged for the apparent failures their patient’s experience. Many New Age dictums claim that we create our own reality and can make ourselves more prosperous, healthy and so on (which I believe, with some conditions, is so) but brush over a little the fact that if that is true, then we are equally responsible for any problems we may face however unfortunate we may feel at times with the unfairness of the bad luck or difficult challenges that suddenly appear. I must confess that I grew up accepting a mixture of the two; some things I could change and improve whilst others I simply had to accept and couldn’t change, as they were just misfortune.
This is a huge subject and includes particularly the debate concerning past lives and karma – what issues do we bring from past incarnations that seem to impede us this time around? Too much there to assess in this piece, but the overall issue of responsibility for me is quite simple. It wasn’t always so, as I have indicated, but I gradually realised that if I wished to become totally powerful in my life I also had to become totally responsible too. I couldn’t have my cake and eat it so to speak. I confess to finding this a hard truth to wrestle with over the years and I still manage to slip up often, if for shorter periods these days, sinking back into the blame game for a while, judging others and feeling a bit “poor unfortunate me”!As the old true alchemists and white magicians knew, life is a magic mirror and it can and will bring to us only what we are, those elements existing within us from which we need to learn. That is how it works. If there is something going on in my life that hurts me, that I don’t like, then it is not to be resisted but accepted as a useful messenger so I can begin to understand it, work creatively and lovingly towards changing in me what must be changed, thus allowing the solution to emerge without judging others and complaining on the way (which is the working through of karma or the law of cause and effect ). If I am creating my own reality and have the power to change any of it for the better, then I am responsible for it in the first place – attracting the noisy neighbour, lack of money, being hurt by those I love and – yes , even the guy whose stray cricket ball smashes my car window! I created the lot!
In therapeutic work this means that from my perspective, my clients and patients are there for my benefit, for me to work through my karma so I can understand what it is in me that they bring to show me. Being a healer is a chance to work through a lot of karma. In its ultimate expression, my interaction with my patients should require me to do less and less on the outside and more and more on the inside. Change me and they change, liberated from having to come and see me-and pay me a fee! Many cannot accept this completely as it offends the ego and the lower intellectually driven mind and they may see the whole process as more mutual, both benefiting from the work or interaction. Simply, they are not ready for that leap in consciousness. Well, you must decide for yourself where you stand. My own experience and guidance suggests that the more responsibility we accept, the more effective we become in the healing of anything difficult that comes our way, personal, professional or otherwise and the quicker and more remarkable the improvements we will then witness. This view offends many healers and therapists as their self-worth is so often tightly wedded to their effectiveness or “success” in their work – always a mistake, not least because such success and popularity always goes in cycles and we then think we are the victim of circumstances beyond our control when gaps begin to appear in our programme.
Some years ago now I began to accept this idea and started to put it into practice more and more. As king of the interventionists, I found it hard at first, and often still do, but I have witnessed in this view of things some remarkable changes, even with extremely difficult situations that have taken a year or two to clear completely in a happy, creative way. What I did and still do, was simple and can be summed up like this:
Accept responsibility for creating the problem however bad it may be, however unfair it may seem. Don’t feel guilty about anything but just accept things the way they are – difficult I know.
Ask my inner subconscious and spiritual/higher self what I must do (in my case it was often to stop doing something!) to release the situation and heal it so I may be set free from it and put things right in the best possible way for all. This takes courage as we all fear letting go to the higher guidance and forces of life.
Invoke the forces of love and forgive myself continually for creating the problem until it goes completely. It must be said here that often, as in any healing crisis, things can briefly appear to get worse before they get better. And the problem can return, but usually, in my experience, less powerfully, and it is cleared more quickly than before. I used to do this by simply saying sorry and asking the Spirit in me for forgiveness and understanding. I would also, and still do, forgive others if it seems necessary. Forgiveness is a supreme act of love.
God or Divinity has already forgiven us of course – in fact it never blamed us in the first place like any good parent who would always view their children’s’ errors with love and compassion- but our subconscious or inner child, who relays information to our higher/spiritual selves and acts as a middleman between our outer conscious personality and higher self, sometimes needs to be told often before it is sure we really want to change, let go and move on, healing our lives and allowing for new better patterns to bless us. Big problems are often caused by many connected thoughts and memories, flowing from our subconscious and attracting the difficult situations into our lives without us seeming to do anything to deserve it!! Love, forgive over and over and be willing to learn and, with patience, you will work miracles. Nothing complicated or new here I realise – just a lot of hard work and persistence – and taking full responsibility. Try it. It is most liberating and empowering as many of my students (who are also my teachers) have found.
And if in my flawed and stumbling way I have ever directly or indirectly hurt you, then please forgive me. My sincere love and blessings I offer to you always. I am truly grateful you are in my life, even if you don’t like me!
Footnote: I was fortunate in my early days of serious esoteric and spiritual searching, to be handed a book on the Kahuna of Hawaii. I learned many things from their philosophy and practices. Then a few years ago, as I wrestled with the practice of responsibility and forgiveness, someone handed to me an email about Dr. Hew Len Ihaleakala and his remarkable use of these practices based upon a modern version of the old Kahuna methods; quite a wonderful man and a confirming story for me which clarified much in my own thinking. Do read his story on line if you haven’t already.
2014 – Some Further Thoughts
Another strong theme for the energy patterns of this calendar year is that of healing and forgiveness. It is very much a time for healing in every aspect of our lives and for the realisation and fruition of long delayed or unresolved plans and projects. Now is a time to resolve all that needs to be resolved, to really release old patterns and structures we may have been living through for years, whether personal or professional, family, friends or relationships. It will be hard, very hard, for those who resist radical changes in their lives but good for those who are open, humble, willing to take a chance and throw caution to the wind, happy to truly change their existing life to allow something more beautiful to emerge. Courage is needed, and trust but not in the little self or ego but the divinity within us all.
It is also very much a time for the group as I said in my last blog.For us to work and live with an increasingly team and community focus as we will fail increasingly if we think we can do it by ourselves and strive for what will be and more and more isolating and frustrating independence. It’s about good partnership, family, friends. That old “me” mindset belongs to the past and will ultimately disappoint those who pursue it, resulting in health and financial problems particularly. We must be there for each other more and more in this time, and, whilst respecting ourselves, be increasingly selfless – much less “me” and much more “we”. Such an approach will unfold joy, and happiness, and all the prosperity needed for a good and enriching life.
Be bold, kind, forgiving and as selfless and conciliatory as possible whilst still honouring and respecting yourself in 2014. I have my work cut out too but am trying!
Symptoms of being out of tune with the times:
Persistent nagging poor health, economic struggles, isolation – no friends, family problems, increasing material insecurity, needing “things” rather than people, less relaxed success at work, old problems continually reappearing, feeling a need for secrecy.
In the flow of 2014:
Better health, less infections, easier prosperity, more good “luck”, a growing network of good friends and loved ones around us who we appreciate and value, less interest in material possessions, exciting new projects emerging, a desire to be open, ready for change however radical.